Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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