508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
