i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
