She is in my trunk
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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