I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
