can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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