Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
