Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
