No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
