Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Randomize
