it's like iHOP with fire
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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