Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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