worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
