I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
