Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
