Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
