woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
