yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
