Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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