I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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