people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
