did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
