? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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