Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
