Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
