I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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