you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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