Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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