i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
