Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
