dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
