the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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