Are we in a gay sports bar?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
