If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
