Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
