Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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