do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
