Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
