Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
