i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think I won the penis lottery.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
