I think scott just propositioned me for sex
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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