Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
