Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
