Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You're like the curious george of whores
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
