none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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