these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
