I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
