We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
