Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
