I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Damn victory sex feels great
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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