She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
