final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
